Posted by: Rachel | May 11, 2011

It’s a Mom’s Life

So Mother’s Day has come and gone again. It was my seventh Mother’s Day and I’m not sure that I feel any more qualified for the job than I did seven years ago when my oldest daughter was just barely a month old. It’s really amazing that God allows us to raise these little creatures with so little training and practice.

Alaina and me at Middle Creek when she was about 2 months old.

Sometimes I’m not sure how to be a Mother but I can say what kind of mother I don’t want to be. I don’t want to yell at my children in public. Actually I would like to not yell at my children at all but I fail miserably at that. But yelling in public seems so much worse for some reason.

Twice in one day I seen a mom yelling at her kid. (Yes, I say kids, no they aren’t baby goats, it is a commonly accepted word used in the English language for children. And I will not feel guilty for using the word kids. But it’s fine if you don’t want to use it. End of Rant) The first time I was in the parking lot and Mom A was hollering at her Boy because Boy was running ahead of her. “Joshua, come back here”, “Joshua, hold my hand this minute,” “Joshua, you better…”

Meanwhile my two youngest girls were slowly watching this all unfold. Neither one of them was holding my hand. Rhiannon, who is probably the same age as “Joshua” usually runs across the parking lot and into the building before I have Delilah out of her carseat. I’m sure many Moms wouldn’t allow that, but she goes there every week for speech therapy and there’s not a lot of traffic in the parking lot and I don’t know, maybe I’m just not a good mom like that. So anyway, I wasn’t sure if I should feel good that I’m not yelling at my girls and that they aren’t disobeying me, or if I should feel bad that I don’t make my child hold my hand as we walk across the parking lot.

Alaina and me again.

The other mom yelling incident was also in the parking lot, this time at the grocery store. Me and my two girls were walking into the store as the Mom and her son came outside. Son was pushing the cart and I thought “how nice, he’s pushing the cart for his mom.” And then she started hollering “Come here,” “Not like that,” “Bla bla bla” and I thought to myself, “mean Mom, push your own cart.”

And yet, her attitude was very much like mine when Rhiannon wants to push the grocery cart. Oh, I might not yell but I’m thinking the same thoughts inside. I mean, I’d love to let her push the cart, but she’s not tall enough to see over the top so she doesn’t know where she’s going and wrecks into the shelves or other people. Plus the cart can be too heavy for her and she goes too slow. So am I a good mom for letting her push the cart anyway, or a bad mom because I get so frustrated with her?

Alaina, Rhiannon, and me in the fall of 2008

Yesterday during Rhiannon’s speech therapy I was focused on Rhiannon and her words, not realizing that Delilah was starting to pull stuff off the bookshelf.  The therapist noticed and went to put the stuff on top of the bookshelf. Soon Delilah was on the table getting some magnety toy things off the wall. The therapist said, “Let’s get this down for you before it falls on your head.” I thought to myself “Yikes, am I so used to her getting into everything that I don’t even watch her close enough?” And does the therapist think “jeez, what’s wrong with this Mom, can’t she take care of her kids?”

Me and my girls, spring of 2010

Sometimes it’s just sad how we misunderstand our children. One afternoon Rhiannon was coloring a picture and wanted to know what two colors make green because she doesn’t have a green color. I knew that she had a green color just fifteen minutes ago, but that is a long time and the color could have gone anywhere since then. So Alaina and I told her that blue and yellow make green. A little bit later she asks me if it looks green. Only then do I realize that she didn’t have a “skin” color. You see, her “skin” sounds like this: “deen”. And her word for green sounds like this: “deen.” And what she really wanted to know was how to make a skin color and now Strawberry Shortcake had a face that was all blue and yellow. So I explained the whole misunderstanding to her and it made her quite sad that we thought she said green instead of skin.

Alaina, Rhiannon, Delilah, Jackie the dog, and me in the summer of 2010

I guess I’m making it sound like being a Mom is all very stressful, and you know it is wonderful too. But for myself there are just so many questions. Am I being firm enough? loving enough? reading enough books to them? giving them too much candy? should I be helping one learn her ABCs better? Do I teach them enough about morals and values? Are they being too whiny and what should I do if they are? How many chores should they be doing? When is a good bedtime? What kind of education should they be getting? Is it ok to let them wear clothes that look awful together if that is what they picked out? Should I let them go barefoot outside when its still March?

Delilah and me on Mothers Day 2011

Some days I feel as if I do a pretty good job of being a Mother. Other days I feel as if I just colored Strawberry Shortcake’s face green instead of ‘skin.’

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