Posted by: Rachel | June 18, 2012

Pregnant Lady in Search of Clothing

My pregnancy has progressed to that sad point where one must simply wear some maternity clothes. I always forget that it is sad until I go shopping for some maternity clothes.

During my first pregnancy I bought a few clothes, made a few, and made do with little. This is basically how I operate at all times, a few clothes that get worn a lot. (My closet doesn’t look as if I only had a few clothes, but at any given time there are only a few that fit well.) Now with this fourth baby-baking session I no longer fit into some of the first maternity clothes I had. So for a few weeks now I have been thinking how I must go and get some decent maternity clothes so I no longer need to stre-e-e-e-e-tch out my ‘normal’ clothes. Finally on Saturday I got the chance to go shopping by myself for all the things on my long list. First I stopped at Barnes and Noble. They didn’t have the one book I wanted but I got another one that I’d been looking for.

Next stop Old Navy.

I have a love/hate relationship with Old Navy. I tried on five skirts and only two were acceptable and even those will need to be altered. Seriously, I can put the waist all the way above my (big giant pregnant) belly and the skirt still covers my ankles.  But at least they had two acceptable items worth purchasing. My next stop was the Motherhood Maternity outlet and it was an experience which left me with an unquenchable desire to shake the store’s clothing designers near unto, well, somewhere. How is it that an entire store devoted entirely unto providing clothing for pregnant women would not have a SINGLE item that I was willing to purchase?

They were even running a buy one get one free sale on select tops. I decided it must be the only way to get people to purchase ugly shirts like this:

Ugly Shirt

You may be thinking ‘that’s not ugly.’  Trust me, it is. The fabric is awful thin, the neckline is too low, lower than the picture indicates, so one would have to wear a shirt underneath, which means more shirts, more $, more laundry. Nearly every shirt in the entire store had three fatal flaws: the neckline was too low, the fabric was too thin, and it didn’t have ‘real sleeves’ if it had any sleeves at all. It seems that the store is trying to save money by following the dolman sleeve fad a bit too far. But I want real sleeves, and I want a shirt/blouse/tee that is thick enough and has a high enough neckline that I don’t need to layer. Layering means I have to find another tee to fit underneath and finding one tee is difficult enough.

And then the skirts: there was a skirt there that was so thin no sane woman would wear it anywhere but a halloween parade and even that would be questionable. I had checked online and seen that they carried a long denim maternity skirt but as my luck went there was only ONE on the rack and it was many sizes too small for me. Oh the injustice of it all.  They did have a comfy jersey skirt but it had that awful maternity belly thing that more or less squishes your stomach into an uncomfortable mass of mush. Plus it was more expensive than the comfy skirts I can buy at Old Navy with out the squishy belly thing.  There was an almost acceptable denim skirt but it came up short, literally, it was too short.

One of the problems with all these clothes was the price. It was quite a bit higher than what I usually pay for garments. I am definitely willing to spend a few bucks more for clothing but then I must ABSOLUTELY LOVE the clothes. They cannot be items that I’m just settling for because there was nothing better. This particular store must be operating on the idea that hey, we sell maternity clothing, people will buy it regardless of how cheaply made it is or how expensive it is.

*If you are the type of person who visualizes what you read, you may wish to stop visualizing about now* When I finally left that awful store I was ready to join a nudist colony. I discussed it with my husband and I decided that a nudist colony where everyone has feeding tubes inserted into their stomachs would be just about perfect. No clothes shopping and no grocery shopping. I simply do not understand how there was a day when I actually enjoyed shopping. I must have been seriously deranged. But back to the whole nudist colony with feeding tubes: Earl thought that reminded him of the WALL-E movie where the people in the space ship were so lazy and never did anything for themselves and suffered bone loss and so on and so forth. I wasn’t sure that I agreed with that assessment but it is a thought to consider.

Earl also had some other suggestions. He thought I could make some clothes if I can’t buy anything acceptable. Problem one with that is: I don’t have a pattern I like. Problem two: even if I had a pattern then I would need to shop for fabric and fabric shopping is almost as bad as clothes shopping. Problem three: IF, and that’s a mighty big if, I could find an acceptable pattern AND acceptable fabric then I would still need to actually MAKE the clothing.

These problems may seem like little ones to you, but if you see me wearing ill-fitting clothing over my baby-oven or hear that we are moving to a weird little commune in a warmer state you will know the reasons behind it.

What do you hate most about clothing shopping?

p.s. do you think I will get all kinds of weird spam because I wrote about nudist colonies?

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Responses

  1. lol..I totally hate shopping too! At 32 weeks pregnant,it is def. hard to find clothing that fits n does not squish my baby belly ! 🙂

  2. LOL! Love your blog Rachel, it always makes me laugh!….good luck with the clothes shopping! Try going online to places like old navy. If you don’t like it you can return it to a store. You probably tried this but anyway. Oh and check The Main Street Exchange! They have a maternity section! Hope you find stuff!

  3. I totally understand your pain, there soon won’t be anything to wear for those of us who choose modesty and hate to sew…I’ve found JCP and Target (online) to have a little better choices without the huge price! I do not like Motherhood’s return policy, and their prices! I went there with this last pregnancy, tried on tons of clothes and left empty-handed.

  4. If you think the shirts are to low-cut but some really wide ribbon or lace for only a few $ and insert a piece to make it look acceptable this avoids any more shirts, I go to reuse-its and buy some really cheap stuff and I have it in stock whenever I need it, and also pinitrest has some awesome cloth altering ideas, that look great:) and maxi dresses and shrugs are another very comfy way to dress in the summer, even if not prego:) Kohls has some great ones for cheap, or I thought it was reasonable.


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