Posted by: Rachel | April 26, 2013

The NRA Comes to Town

People, there are days when the newspaper brings such joy that sorrows cannot stay for long. This is such a day. Today this article was in the paper. Oh such a happy day in my life.

In these parts of the world there is a very popular gun/hunting/etc. event called the Eastern Sports and Outdoor Show.  In the beginning of the year they announced that at this year’s show there were to be no ‘assault’ weapons. It was a move made with the Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre still fresh in all our minds. Now people could have thought ‘well, that was a decent thing to do, we will just buy those guns next year at the show, or go directly to the gun shops.’ But OH NO, peoples got all sorts of outraged. They were UP IN ARMS. They were MAD. How dare Reed Exhibitions, the host of the show, ban these weapons. Our rights to buy guns are being infringed upon!!! HELP!!! People flopped down on the floor and kicked and screamed and threw royal hissy fit tantrums befitting of a three year old. Exhibitors and celebrities pulled out of the event forcing Reed to cancel the show less than two weeks before it’s starting time.

And so no-one could buy any guns, at all, at the Eastern Sports and Outdoor Show. Because there was no show. But people were happy because, bless their little hearts, they had proven that wasn’t no-one gonna take away their 2nd amendment rights.

And then a new horse came to town. The NRA, that great and hallowed defender of precious gun rights, decided that they were going to take on the responsibility of hosting the show, seeing as how Reed Exhibitions had been run out of town. And in all gun-loving hearts there was a sigh of relief. YES! Finally someone who understood that it was imperative that they be able to buy guns! Lots of guns! ASSAULT WEAPONS! YAY! The NRA would understand them, here in Pennsylvania where people hold on tightly to their guns and their Bibles.

And so I believe it came as a shock to most little gun-loving hearts when it was announced that the NRA would allow NO GUN SALES at the show. Oh, there would be lots of guns to look at, but no gun buying or selling. Shock and confusion reigned through out the land. But.. but.. it’s the NRA, what, I thought they loved us gun-toting real Americans.

So now I sit here on the edge of my seat. Waiting. Because, my friends, I cannot wait to see what will happen. Will the faithfully armed people of central Pennsylvania rise up against the NRA? Or will they sit quietly because after all, they love the NRA, and the NRA loves them. I am not ashamed to say that I literally jumped up and down in excitement because ladies and gents, the poop is about to hit the fan. There is great glee in my heart as I anticipate the following weeks.

I also wish to remind everyone that Reed Exhibitions only banned military-style semiautomatic rifles and high-capacity ammunition magazines. And then people protested and guess what?!!! They ended up putting in place a vendor who says NO GUN SALES AT ALL!!!! Oh, the irony, oh the irony. It’s as if a little child protests that their piece of cake wasn’t big enough, and so because they are ungrateful little brats, you take away all the cake.

‘Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think, a little too ironic.’ Yes, Alanis Morissette, you hit the nail on the head. Or should I say, you hit the target with a semi automatic weapon and a high capacity magazine.



  1. Would you support bill that bans being a Muslim because a few extremists have used their religion as a means to justify killing thousands of people? Or how about banning cars because drunk drivers kill thousands of people

    • No one said you can’t buy the weapons, they just said you can’t buy them at the show. There is a big difference. It’s like the idiots that wanted to boycott Good’s store because they don’t sell American flags.

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